Amazing!! At 7:48 PM, my phone rang. It showed the call was coming from Ashley Gardens. My heart stopped. What had mom done now? I answered the call. It was not one of the voices who usually calls me. It was the voice of Bernadette, one of the kind souls who works there. She said that she had never heard mom ask for me, but tonight, mom asked if she could call ‘Lisa’. I began to tremble. What would mom’s reaction be? She struggles talking to Ali unless she can see him on FT.
Mom was given the phone. The conversation that ensued left me speechless. Her voice and words were that of my mom I knew years ago.. If I didn’t know better, I would have sworn that my mom was healthy!Her conversation was erratic, yet she used words and formed sentences without hesitation. I knew she was having a moment of clarity when her voice began to crack. She was scared. She said she did not want to be like this. She asked for honesty. I told her I knew she was scared. and how proud I was for her handling this situation. She said ‘Thank you’! I told her her brother and sister would be here next week along with Ali. She asked me to please not say that! My interpretation was that she was afraid that would not happen. She was afraid of her hopes being dashed. The unfortunate nature of this disease is by the time I write this journal entry, mom will have no recollection of the phone call or conversation. My prayer is that she will carry some of the warmth from our talk in her heart, even if she is unable to understand its meaning. Sometimes, the feeling of love in one’s heart is all that is needed to continue a difficult walk.